CALIFORNIA - Three firefighters battling a California blaze bravely charged in without regard for their own safety Wednesday, as is the way of firefighters. As the fire had been heated seven times its usual heat by the neglect of the California government and PG&E, the utility the state granted a monopoly to, nobody expected the firefighting heroes to survive.

But fire authorities watching the blaze were suddenly shocked to see a fourth figure alongside the three firefighters: actor Keanu Reeves.

"Did we not see three firefighters go into the blaze?" said one stunned witness, Nezzie Smith. "But I see four men, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods."

Reeves raised his hands and the fires subsided, saving the lives of the firefighters and millions of dollars in property. "I know kung fu---the kind of kung fu you can use against fire," he said. "Calm yourselves. Do you not know that even the fire obeys me?"

The men were completely unharmed, without a singe or a smell of smoke, when they emerged from the smoking rubble.

The mysterious figure then disappeared with a wink, and a booming voice from the heavens said, "Be excellent to each other."