Midwesterners Fire Up Grills, Don Tank Tops As Temperature Climbs Above 40 Degrees
Life · Feb 1, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

BLUE SPRINGS, MO — With an unseasonably mild wave of late-January weather sweeping across the middle of the country, excited midwesterners fired up their grills and donned tanktops as temperatures climbed above 40 degrees.

As the thermometer reading inched above freezing, jubilant residents of Mid-America seized the opportunity to break out their warm-weather clothes and enjoy basking in the sweltering 40-degree heat.

"Man, it's balmy out here," said Mike Jones. "Better break out the shorts, tank tops, flip flops, and fire up the ol' grill to enjoy the outdoors. Is it too early to take the cover off the pool? Honey, where's the sunscreen?"

With temperatures for parts of the Midwest forecasted to reach as high as the 50s, families were already planning barbecues and picnics while looking for deals on swimsuits and sleeveless shirts online. "There's nothing like a good heatwave to get people outdoors in the sun," said a local news station meteorologist. "I do, however, want our viewers to be aware of the dangers posed by such excessive heat. As you enjoy the steamy 40s and 50s, be on the lookout for the warning signs of heat stroke, sunburns, and other heat-related conditions. Stay safe out there in the warm temperatures, folks!"

Jones's wife was already preparing to get her gardening started after packing up everyone's winter clothes now that spring had finally arrived.

At publishing time, Californians were reported to have already broken out their scarves, gloves, and heavy parkas after hearing temperatures could dip below 70.


Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.

Watch Santa's retirement announcement

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now