Michael Bay: 'Movies That Don't Have At Least 537 Explosions Aren't Real Cinema'
Entertainment · Oct 24, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Michael Bay, one of the world's most successful filmmakers, caused a stir when in an interview when he said, "Movies without at least 537 explosions aren't real cinema." This was a direct attack on movies by directors such as Martin Scorsese, who has made numerous small films held in esteem by a few weirdos, though none has grossed even half as much money as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

"Movies without lots of explosions are ruining culture," Bay continued. "They are just so, so boring. If a movie is going to be mainly people standing around talking and nothing erupting into flames and no CGI robots, why even be a movie? Just be a play for some snobs in Manhattan."

Bay admitted he had not seen a lot of the films he criticized, as they were "too boring" and he "fell asleep." He did pick out one film he had seen, Taxi Driver, and had pointed criticisms for it. "Most of it was literally a guy driving around in a taxi and talking and stuff," Bay explained. "It was so stupid. The only good part was near the end when like a gun pops out of the guy's sleeve and he shoots a bunch of people. Now, if you take that scene, play some Nickelback during it, and expand that to be the whole movie, then you finally have something."

Michael Bay said he also tried to watch The Godfather, but after the opening wedding scene was not interrupted by terrorists, he turned it off, tied the DVD to a stick of dynamite, and blew up in the backyard so "something exciting would finally happen."

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