WASHINGTON, D.C.—The ancient god Moloch has announced that in lieu of the actual blood sacrifice of your children, you can now simply force your kids to become transgender as an alternative.
"Honestly, I still prefer killing your kids in ritual sacrifice or aborting them," he said at a press conference. "I guess I'm old-fashioned like that. But coercing your kids into undergoing harmful surgery and hormone treatments works just as well, I suppose. As long as you're sacrificing your kid's future to the progressive, humanistic agenda, it doesn't matter one way or the other."
Moloch said that parents who encourage their young children who haven't hit puberty yet or started thinking about sexuality at all to think about changing genders will be under the protection and favor of his evilness. "I am appeased by such sacrifice. A child's life is ruined so that a parent may appear woke in the eyes of her friends---truly a diabolical ritual that I wholly approve of."
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.