U.S. — Following extensive research, mental health experts have confirmed that a sunny day at the ballpark is 1000 times more effective than taking antidepressants.
The investigative study, performed by a team comprised of some of the foremost minds in the mental health field, proved conclusively that a depressed person who attends one baseball game on a breezy, sunny day comes away much happier than they would have been had they ingested a powerful cocktail of prescription antidepressant medication.
"The impact of an afternoon ballgame is staggering," said Dr. Charles Foster of the Sports Psychology Center. "Much to our surprise, sitting in the warm sunshine, feeling a mild breeze, hearing the crack of the bat, and smelling popcorn and beer is far more effective at treating depression than any antidepressant on the market today. No wonder people lived such happier lives back when most baseball games were played during the day."
One fan attending a Tigers-Pirates game in Pittsburgh confirmed the effectiveness. "Oh yeah, I've never felt better," he said. "Earlier today, I hated my life. I was drowning in stress and anxiety. Now? Look at where I am. It doesn't get any better than this. A day at a baseball game is God's antidepressant. A hotdog helps, too."
At publishing time, experts advised that the antidepressant effect doubles if the person attending the game periodically yells out "Heeeeeeeeeeeeey, batterbatterbatterbatterbatterbatter" when an opposing player is at the plate.
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