Meet Captain Abstinence, The Christian Superhero Summoned By The Power Of Five Purity Rings Combined
Entertainment · Oct 30, 2018 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. - Christianity has long been trailing behind secular entertainment sources, especially in the realm of comic books.

But no longer! Meet Captain Abstinence: he's a new Christian superhero who is summoned by the power of five purity rings combined. The comic is being published by DC Comics' new faith-based imprint, JC Comics.

The five diverse kids who star in the new comic book and animated television series lift up their purity rings when they want to summon the Captain, with each of them calling out their special power: "Modesty!" "Eye Bouncing!" "Sidehug!" "Dating Jesus!" and "Heart-guard!" The small but growing Captain Abstinence fandom is already in agreement that "Heart-guard" is the "lamest" of the powers.

Early issues of the comic have the Cap helping the Christian teens in their fight against notorious supervillains like Miss Miniskirt and her sidekick Spaghetti Strap. In each story arc, when the kids get in over their heads, they band together and summon the Captain, who violently dispatches the ruffians while yelling his favorite catchphrases, including "Modest is hottest!" and "Not today, Jezebel!"

Each episode of the animated show finishes with Captain Abstinence giving teens a brief PSA on modesty and abstinence before flying away to continue to defend the galaxy from lust and fornication.

You can pick up your trade paperback copy of Captain Abstinence Volume 1: Leave Room for Jesus at your local LifeWay store, or catch the animated show on TBN at 3 a.m. every weekday.


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