Mechanic Determines Car Repairs Will Cost Whatever Your Whole Paycheck Is This Month
Finance · May 25, 2023 ·

U.S. — Expert analysis indicates that the next time you bring your car to a mechanic the cost of repairs will perfectly match your paycheck for the month.

"This is both convenient and suspicious," said family man Johnathon Broom who took his car in for a routine oil change. "I'm glad I have the funds to cover the new alternator, tires, and struts — but it kind of seems like Rusty's Car Farm knew exactly how much money I had in my bank account."


This analysis comes as the result of a month-long study among one thousand individuals with identical vehicles and repair needs.

"It's a little strange since not every customer makes the same amount of money, yet the cost of repairs is always their exact monthly income," said car scientist Dr. Stephen Nickles. "We've passed our information along to the IRS to see what they make of it."

Note: The IRS could not be reached for comment, but we are now being audited.

"It's just a coincidence," laughed Rusty Sinclair of Rusty's Car Farm. "I don't hack into everyone's bank accounts to find out how much to charge them. You're just paranoid. And I suppose you believe companies routinely get caught in price-fixing schemes. Conspiracy theorist!"

At publishing time, new brake pads for Elon Musk's car had cost him forty-five billion dollars.

Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.