ATHENS, GA — According to sources, the Athens Mayor who advertised the city as a sanctuary for criminals is perplexed over the large number of criminals roaming the streets.

After bringing in lawbreakers by the busload for several months, Mayor Kelly Girtz and his staff were left completely bewildered as to the reason the city's crime rate was skyrocketing to a disturbing level.

"It just doesn't make sense," Girtz said as he and his aides reviewed the latest crime statistics. "There must be some reason the city is becoming more dangerous and riddled with crime. And it started to happen right around the time when we began bussing in illegal migrants who had recently been released from 3rd-world prisons. The two issues clearly aren't connected in any way, but it's such a strange coincidence. It's bizarre."

As Athens residents cowered in fear due to the increased violence and criminal activity throughout the city, leaders were searching for answers. "We may just have to face the truth," one city official said. "Our city obviously isn't diverse enough. We need more people from places other than America. That should fix everything."

In the end, leaders were convinced that flooding the city with violent criminals had in no way contributed to the rise in violent crime.

At publishing time, Mayor Girtz and his team were brainstorming initiatives to prevent arriving migrants with violent criminal records from facing any potential discrimination while terrorizing citizens.

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