DAPHNAE, EGYPT - Joseph, Mary, and the Son of God were taken into custody Tuesday morning. Egyptian authorities learned that the Holy Family had violated travel restrictions in their attempt to flee King Herod's imminent massacre of all male babies under the age of two.

Officer Ptahhotep of the Ancient Egypt Police Force told journalists, "We asked to see their papers and vaccination records, which they could not produce." He then said the young family had no connections to a rich politician, which also would have excused them.

"For Ra's sake, we would have let them go if they were buddies with a city council member. But all they mentioned was the lineage of David and some kind of prophecy fulfilled. Sorry, but in Egypt, we deal in real authority."

The officer explained to the recalcitrant parents that the safest way to protect their child from a murderous tyrant was to stay home, stay safe, and comply with the local laws of said murderous tyrant. Or be buddies with a politician. The three law-breakers were then placed into the back of a chariot and hauled off to jail to await a visit from Child Protective Services, then extradition.

The mayor of the town where the arrest occurred could not be reached for comment, as he had already boarded a pleasure barge with 36 of his close friends for a seven-day cruise up the Nile River.