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Mark Zuckerberg Finishes Morning Reading Of Favorite Devotional '1984'

MENLO PARK, CA—We all have our favorite regular devotionals or Scripture readings that motivate us each morning and get us in the right mindset to tackle the day. For Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, no morning is complete without reading at least a few pages of the “uplifting, utopian” novel 1984 by George Orwell.

“Oh, Big Brother, you get me,” Zuckerberg reportedly said Wednesday morning as he leafed through the book and glanced at some of the most prominently underlined and highlighted passages. “You always know just what to say. Don’t let those pesky Brotherhood rebels get you down—you just keep doing you.”

According to sources close to Zuckerberg, the CEO paused and re-read several of his favorite parts, like when the protagonist rewrites vast swathes of history to conform to the ruling party’s narrative, and when he’s interrogated by the Thought Police. Friends of Zuckerberg also confirmed he particularly enjoys the part when the main character is tortured in the infamous Room 101 for dissenting with the “facts” as defined by the Party.

“We all have our role models. Mine is Big Brother and the sprawling overreach of the land of Oceania,” he told reporters. “I just know if the Facebook team and all of humanity would begin to work together, we can realize Orwell’s dream.”

“Ah, what an inspiration. Now, time to get to work suppressing viewpoints I disagree with,” he said as he put the well-worn copy of the novel back on his shelf and booted up his computer for another long day of running the scarily large and powerful Facebook social network.