PORTLAND, OR—While discussing political issues with a Christian friend at a coffee shop Monday morning, local liberal atheist man Lars Wellson quoted the Bible several times to prove his position correct, despite the fact that he doesn't believe the Bible to be true in the slightest.
The man who trashes the Bible all day every day on social media pulled a few choice Bible quotes completely out of context that seemed to support his positions. He clarified later that he doesn't believe a word of it, but he still felt the argumentation was effective nonetheless.
"The Bible says we should welcome the immigrant and the stranger," Wellson said after quickly googling "Bible quotes about immigrants" on his smartphone. "I mean, I think it's all ancient, backward, bigoted trash, but there you go. Check and mate."
Wellson then paraphrased Jesus's statement on loving "the least of these," though he was sure to add the stipulation that he doesn't actually believe Jesus existed. "You Christians should agree with my political beliefs because of this quote out of the Bible---which is full of errors, by the way."
"So there you go," he concluded. "It's clear that my position is correct, based on the Bible that's 100% fabricated." He then leaned back in his chair, took a sip of his non-fat skim latte, and patiently waited for his Christian friend to renounce his faith.