DALLAS, TX - Upon the news of Billy Graham's passing at age 99 Wednesday morning, local man John Everly took the opportunity to criticize the man's preaching, theology, and methodology. Everly has not shared the good news of Jesus Christ with a single person in his entire life, multiple sources confirmed.

In a lengthy blog post "hot off the presses" Wednesday, the man was able to point out forty-seven different flaws with Graham's delivery, calling the famous preacher's messages "shallow," "man-centered," and "wishy-washy," while he himself had never even attempted to bring a single person to Christ.

Also concerning to the blogger were two or three specific sentences uttered by Graham in the sixty years his words were being recorded, for which Every refused to offer Graham the benefit of the doubt, despite the late evangelist's lifetime of preaching the gospel to live audiences of more than 200 million people.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that both of Everly's parents and all four of his grandparents had been converted to Christ at a Billy Graham crusade.