DALLAS, TX – According to sources, local man Jeremy Thomas has spent three weeks stuck in a perpetual loop, going upstairs, forgetting why he went upstairs, and then going back downstairs. The loop began on a Sunday night after a Cowboys game and has continued since.
"Shoot. What did I come up here for again?" said the confused 36-year-old man before heading back down the stairs.
"Yeah, this phenomenon is pretty common starting at this age," said Thomas' doctor to his frustrated wife. "Usually if you just snap your fingers in his face or distract him with some nachos it will break the loop."
"This might be the longest loop I've seen yet," the doctor continued. "The longest loop of this kind I've seen previously was only three days. The man was also a dad. It's always dads."
At publishing time. Mr. Thomas had entered another endless loop of walking to his car and realizing he had forgotten his keys.
Should you get your kid the new iPhone 14? Of course.