MARQUETTE, MI–Local man Wesley Muir is in big trouble with his wife. According to reports, around 5 a.m. on Monday, Muir made the costly mistake of using one of his wife’s 72 shampoos.
"I had soap in my eyes and her shea butter coconut tea tree oil shampoo was right by my hand, I just made a choice," Muir told reporters. "I figured there was no way she could possibly know I used a mere dollop of one of her many, many shampoos."
But Muir was unaware of the common practice among almost all of the nation's wives of weighing and documenting each of the bottles of hair care products in the bathroom every evening before bed. That night, the numbers were off. "Someone has been skimming," Wesley's Wife, Shelly said angrily as she broke a pencil in her fist and slammed her haircare product weight log closed. The neighbors reported loud screaming that night, then silence.
Wesley Muir has not been heard from since the incident.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.