ATLANTA, GA—Everyone was really happy that the Allied forces stopped Hitler. Everyone, that is, except CNN, who published a retrospective on the war this week, zeroing in on the real issue of Operation Overlord: no gay female trans POCs in any of the units.
While most people were really grateful that Hitler was defeated, despite the U.S. military's wider segregation issues at the time, most people are not as woke as CNN, who condemned the entire operation as racist and xenophobic.
"Ugh, look at all these cisgendered males," the CNN opinion piece read. "At some point, you have to ask yourself which is worse: living under Hitler's regime or getting rescued by straight, white males."
"The obvious answer, of course, is straight white males. They're always worse. Then again, you could argue that they're literally Hitler, and you're back to square one."
While CNN acknowledged that many minority soldiers fought both on D-Day and during the wider war, the piece argued that since the Allied task force did not meet CNN's modern diversity standards, the Allied effort should be condemned today.
"Other people focus on the minor things, like the fact that Hitler was ousted, but we've got the real story. Do better, Allies. Do better."