CHARLESTON, SC — Congregants at Mother Emanuel AME Church repeatedly decried what they called the "MAGA cult" while simultaneously chanting in unison that President Joe Biden was their once and future god-king.
"MAGA Republicans are a mindless cult," a hundred voices cried out. "MAGA IS A CULT! MAGA IS A CULT! MAGA IS A CULT! ALL HAIL BIDEN!"
President Biden had reportedly been invited to speak at the church in order to give the Mother Emanuel AME Church a break from pretending to worship Jesus. "As the scripture says, accumulate for yourselves teachers in accordance with your own desires," said Pastor Johnson. "Biden hates MAGA. We hate MAGA. It's a good fit."
"THE VOICE OF A GOD AND NOT OF A MAN!" the collective chanted after Biden warned them of the Trump threat to democracy.
At publishing time, a cult intervention group reached out to the members of Mother Emanuel AME Church to provide assistance for anyone looking to leave the church.
Elon Musk recently disguised the IRS building as a Tesla dealership in a brilliant new plan.
