WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Biden Administration is already hard at work planning this summer's White House Pride event, with President Biden officially inviting the Bass Pro Shops naked fish tank swimmer guy to attend.
After witnessing the viral video of the man stripping down and lewdly frolicking in the Bass Pro aquarium and waterfall display, the president reportedly ordered his aides to contact the man and issue an official invite to be a featured guest at the annual White House celebration of disgusting and deviant behavior.
"Come celebrate with us where you belong," President Biden said in his invitation. "You may feel underappreciated or out of place in the Bass Pro fish tank, but we have a place here where you can freely express your nakedness on a global stage for all the world to see without any shame or decorum or even the slightest bit of responsibility to be decent and moral. It's a magical place. It's our place. It's the Biden White House. Come join us! Bargindermarfit!"
The White House staff was reportedly able to track down the man shortly after he was taken into custody by police for public lewdness, disorderly conduct, and criminal mischief, citing the charges themselves as evidence that the man would be an ideal guest for the administration's Pride celebration in June.
At publishing time, Biden had also ordered staffers to begin designing a special White House water display on the front lawn to serve as the grand stage for their guest of honor.
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