U.S. - In a stirring interview on CNBC this week, Lockheed Martin's CEO Jim Taiclet tearfully urged the Biden Administration to declare a no-fly zone in Ukraine. 

"Just think of the stockholders, um, I mean - the innocent civilians in Ukraine!" he said, wiping tears from his eyes. "Imagine how safe they'll be as our multi-billion-dollar F-35s, Stalker UAS drones, or S-97 Raiders patrol the skies! Please! Someone must do something! For the children!" 

Lockheed Martin has already spent $80 million on marketing campaigns to garner support for a no-fly-zone in Ukraine, as well as the world war that would likely come after. 

"This is so, so important," said Taiclet, blowing into a silk hanky. "Think of the glistening weapons technology Lockheed Martin could deploy in Ukraine! It's such a beautiful thought I get emotional just thinking about it. I mean, the kids. Thinking about the kids. In Ukraine. Yeah." 

Biden is said to be considering a no-fly zone as soon as aides finish explaining to him what a no-fly zone is, what a "Ukraine" is, and who the President is. 

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.