AUSTIN, TX—In a long-dreaded moment, local man Jared Breaker revealed to his friends at work Monday that he’s actually a “Jesus freak,” but strangely, they seemed to take the news well, not treating him any differently, according to sources.
Gathering a group together around the office coffee machine, Breaker told his unbelieving friends he had something he needed to reveal to them. Taking a deep breath, he “put it all out there,” confirming that he was, in fact, a Christian. “I don’t really care if you label me a ‘Jesus freak,’ guys. There ain’t no disguising the truth, you know?”
“What I’m trying to say is, I ain’t into hiding the truth, I guess.”
After glancing at each other for several seconds, the group of friends nodded and said that his choice of religion was cool with them. They reportedly didn’t call him “strange” a single time, according to witnesses, even though they did later admit it was a little weird that he kept declaring his best friend was born in a manger. “Uh, that’s cool, Jared. Good for you, man. I’d like to hear more about your faith some time,” Bill from accounting said. “Can you send me your expense report later too? Thanks, bud.”
His co-workers eventually left the break room and went back to work, reportedly forgetting the incident even occurred by lunch.
“I guess now I know what people will do when they find that it’s true,” he remarked later as he showed off his previously hidden “Jesus Saves” tattoo. “Not much, really.”