Home > Sponsored > Local Christian Vows To Be Content Right After He Places One More Massive ...
Sponsored
Local Christian Vows To Be Content Right After He Places One More Massive Amazon Order

Brought to you by:


LANSING, MI—Local Christian Lance Ryan announced Monday that he will be content in all things and completely satisfied in Christ, right after he places one more massive Amazon order for a bunch of stuff he doesn't need.

"It's important for Christians to be content," he said as he threw a backup Xbox One into his cart, "and I'll definitely be content right after this shipment comes in. Oh, man, I can't wait 'til my new smartphone shows up and fills this gaping void in my soul."

Ryan says he's always happy "as long as I know there's a bunch of fun stuff coming my way from Amazon." He makes sure to have a constant stream of stuff coming from Amazon at any given time, whether it's appliances, electronics, books, games, sports equipment, or accessories to supplement some of the other stuff he's purchased.

"Jesus said where your treasure is, there your heart will be also," he added. "And it looks like my heart is currently shipping from Amazon's nearby fulfillment center. Come on, Amazon driver, hurry up!"

At publishing time, Ryan had placed a second massive Amazon order while waiting for the first one to show up to ensure he was "extra content."


Jesus talked a lot about money and how it affects our hearts. A biblical understanding of money can help us be more content, grateful, trusting, and loving, while an unbiblical approach can rob us of joy and contentment in Christ. In True Riches, authors John Cortines and Gregory Baumer show you how to avoid the pitfalls of money and focus on Christ in the way we manage our finances. Check it out here or by clicking the link below.

 

Readers of the Bee,

If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.