Liberty University Announces Plans To Open On-Campus Trump Casino
Entertainment · Sep 15, 2016 · BabylonBee.com

LYNCHBURG, VA - Jerry Falwell, Jr., President of Liberty University, announced at a Thursday press conference plans for the upcoming Trump Liberty Casino, to be located on campus to serve students and faculty.

Located adjacent to the school's beloved multi-purpose building, The Vines Center, the impressive Trump Liberty Casino will boast over 1000 gaming machines and 35 table games, while offering a convenient, direct connection to Liberty's Business Office. "Students will have the opportunity to hit it big playing craps and then pay off their tuition, all in one place - all while supporting President Donald J. Trump and Liberty University, and experiencing our state-of-the-art gaming floor, dozens of generous table games, and fine membership benefits," announced Falwell, Jr., who noted that the mogul and the Christian university will be splitting gaming income "right down the middle."

The school's alcohol policy will even be relaxed from "zero tolerance" to "don't ask, don't tell" within the walls of the casino, opening up another line of revenue, according to sources.

Asked about restrictive Virginia gambling laws which currently prohibit casinos in the state, Falwell stressed that President Trump has given him his word that they will be "taken care of."


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