FLORIDA—As yet another hurricane approached the Florida coast this evening, and people still apparently live in Florida for some reason, brave leftist warriors were deployed into the middle of the storm in order to signal the hurricane to go kill their political opponents.
Progressive organizations sent humanitarian workers everywhere the storm was set to make landfall to make sure the hurricane got the message that it was to do as much damage as possible, as long as it was only bringing death and destruction to those they disagree with.
"Begone, ye foul storm---go back from whence you came!" shouted one leftist as he signalled with a traffic control wand. "Well, not from whence you came---actually, Mar-a-Lago is right that way. You can't miss it---big building, lots of people who will probably get hurt. But that's totally cool, because they're associating with Trump."
"NOW GO, FELL BEAST OF WIND AND WATER, AND DO MY BIDDING TO CRUSH TRUMP AND THE RIGHT!" he bellowed, cackling madly. He then got hit with a stop sign.
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