The Babylon Bee recognizes that we occupy land originally inhabited and cared for by Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC. We honor and pay respect to their company presidents and subordinates — past, present, and future — as they continue their accounting practices in another office — a place they were relocated to against their will because they couldn't pay their space rent. We acknowledge that buying office space resulted in them moving to another office, as well as possibly genocide and multigenerational trauma.
This acknowledgment demonstrates our responsibility and commitment to never again taking over a land that previously belonged to an accounting agency, although we are not giving it back because that would be impractical. We just won't do it again.
We are grateful to have the opportunity to live and work in an area previously made habitable by accountants and are dedicated to growing and sustaining relationships with other accountants across the United States.
To learn more about Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC, you may visit your local library and use one of the free internet computers to look them up on Wikipedia or something.
In conjunction with this Land Acknowledgment, Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC wishes to express their regret that they, too, are now inhabiting lands previously held by K-Mart.
This Land Acknowledgment was developed over months of collaboration between Seth Dillon and Robert Anderson, the current head of Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC. The executive team voted unanimously to adopt this Land Acknowledgement for The Babylon Bee.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
