WACO, TX — According to sources, a lame local church doesn't even have its own app.
A small church identified only by a sign reading "Waco Bible Church" reportedly has no handy app for either Android or Apple devices, even though it's 2026.
"I don't know how to make an app," Pastor Roger Sherman said. "But all are welcome."
Witnesses reportedly saw Sherman pass out some Bible tracts, which were apparently the most advanced pieces of technology he was aware of.
"This doesn't make sense," said one visitor. "How are we supposed to connect with the church? How does tithing work? How do we communicate with the pastor? What on Earth is wrong with these people?"
Church experts concur that apps are essential if churches want to successfully spread the gospel. "People need daily Bible verses, sermon recordings, and a calendar of events at their fingertips," said Mitchell Devonshire, pastor of Compelled Fusion Church of Pointe Creek. "How do these guys expect members to communicate? In person? That's ridiculous."
At publishing time, Pastor Sherman had entered the 21st century with the creation of a new church WordPress blog.
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