Nothing can send an otherwise well-adjusted man into a sudden tailspin of depression quite like his favorite sports team losing. Ladies, here are nine ways you can comfort your man when such a tragedy unfolds:
Remind him that it's just a game: This will help put things back in perspective.
Ask him again which team lost and by how much: He needs to process this.
Stand in front of the screen for the last 5 minutes of the game and ask if he wants to talk about his feelings: Obviously, he has some things he needs to express.
Be super, extra cheerful to help offset his sadness: This will right the ship in no time.
Tell him you're very sorry about his team not getting the golden snitch or whatever, now pass the wine: Empathy is so important.
Remind him that his team's all-star third baseman with a career WAR over 50 who's been on the IL since April did great in his AAA rehab start and is close to activation: You won't believe how his eyes will light up.
Ask if now is a good time to talk about getting off birth control: This will be a welcome distraction.
Tell him it's too bad about the large men in another city not hitting the ball with the stick better: Let him know you really care.
Ask him why he doesn't just root for a better team: Help him see the error of his foolish, foolish ways.
Follow these nine easy steps, and your man will beat the post-loss doldrums in no time!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
