Kevin Sorbo To Star In Epic Reboot Of Psalty The Singing Songbook
Entertainment · Oct 11, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. - In an epic reboot of the beloved series of children's worship songs and videos, the creators of Psalty have announced a gritty reboot starring Kevin Sorbo. Dubbed Psalty: The Last Hymnal, the movie is expected to launch a multi-billion-dollar franchise of films, TV shows, comic books, and merchandise.

The film follows a darker, reimagined Psalty as the last remaining hymnal in an apocalyptic wasteland. After all his friends are killed in the "Worshipocalypse," being replaced by projector screens, Psalty emerges for vengeance.

"Psalty's back, and this time, he's out for blood," said Psalty co-creator Ernie Rettino. "Debby and I started brainstorming what Psalty would do if he found out about all the neglected hymnals all across the country. We had just watched The Book of Eli, and it all kind of fell into place."

The Rettinos started sketching out intense action sequences, like one scene where, out of nowhere, Psalty elbow-drops a modern worship pastor in a megachurch. "I have a very particular set of skills," Psalty (Kevin Sorbo) growls. "Skills that allow me to take down a young worship-leading punk like you." The terrified worship leader tries to run, but his skinny jeans only allow him to waddle awkwardly away. "If I catch you playing Good, Good Father again, you'll be sorry."

The creators have also announced over 30 sequels, including the following:

  • Psalty: The Psequel
  • Psalty: The Wages Of Sing
  • Psalty: The Wrath Of Psalty Revealed
  • Psalty: The Hymnpire Strikes Back
  • Psalty Goes Full Imprecatory
  • Page Against the Machine
  • Psalty: The Shadow of Death
  • Be Still And Know that Psalty Is Punching You in the Face
  • A Song of Psalt And Fire
  • Psalty: Psilent Knight, Holy Vengeance
  • Psalty: Into The Psalterverse
  • Captain Psalty: The Winter Psalter
  • Psalty: Apsault & Battery
  • Psalty: The P Is Psilent

The New York Film Review caught an early screening of the first movie and called it "a real page-turner."


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