WASHINGTON, D.C. — Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson has announced her intention for 2025 to finally read the United States Constitution using a "Read The Constitution In A Year" plan.
The plan will require Justice Jackson to read just over twelve words per day in order to make her way through the four pages of the original document.
"I've been meaning to do this for years," explained Jackson. "Every time I've tried, I see those four whole pages staring back at me, and it's just so overwhelming. But this is my year. By golly, I'll know what article one says by next year -- you'll see, Clarence!"
According to sources, it was Justice Thomas himself who devised the plan, realizing that his fellow Justice needed the four pages broken up into bite-sized chunks. "It takes the woman an hour to read the wrapper on a granola bar," said Thomas. "Am I hopeful this will work? No, no I am not. But perhaps it will keep her quiet while I do my Sudoku during oral arguments."
At publishing time, Jackson had come up short on her first day's reading, being stumped by the third word "people."
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