SALT LAKE CITY, UT—Joe Biden's running mate appears to be in deep trouble after speaking in tonight's debate and letting everyone hear what her voice actually sounds like.
"This is a disaster for us," said campaign manager Jennifer O'Malley Dillon to anonymous sources. "We really didn't think people were actually going to watch this debate, let alone with the sound on."
According to polls of citizens who watched the debate, the very thought of hearing Kamala Harris's voice and signature cackle for the next 4-8 years makes 3 out of 4 people want to lay down in front of a steamroller.
"Never thought I'd say this, but maybe my old lady's voice ain't so bad," said Bob Ataboy, a local factory worker.
The campaign vowed to address this situation and has set up Harris for personal classes with famous likeability coach Hillary Clinton.