WASHINGTON, D.C.—Recent national indicators have hinted that the Biden Administration may not be as popular as hoped. These revelations have forced strategists for the Democrat party to face the truth that Vice President Kamala Harris is so disliked, the nation would rather consider Hillary Clinton.
“National polls, which never lie, have shown that Americans would prefer Hillary Clinton over Kamala Harris, which is pretty bad,” said political pollster Stanlip Bilksmear, “Even more disturbing, they both polled worse than ‘The propped up corpse of serial killer John Wayne Gacy.’ That wasn’t even an option in our poll; Americans wrote it in.”
Bilksmear explained that shifts toward favorability of previously-hated politicians are not uncommon, due to peoples’ tendency to forget the harsh nastiness of some public figures. “Voters seem to have already forgotten that Hillary Clinton is as likable as a tapeworm.”
A spokesperson for the Vice President denied rumors that Harris was disliked, but would not comment further because he had already quit.
In the social justice system, words are considered violence. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious attacks are members of an elite squad known as the Microaggression Victims Unit. These are their stories.