Judge Warns Trump Criminal Trial May Last Until, Say, November 6
Politics · Apr 16, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

NEW YORK, NY — In what could have significant ramifications for the upcoming presidential election, the presiding judge warned that former President Donald Trump's criminal trial may last until, say, November 6.

While court cases vary in length due to a variety of factors, Judge Juan Merchan was all but certain that this particular case would, in all likelihood, last for a significant amount of time and would reach its completion on the first Wednesday of November.

"I'm just picking a date off the top of my head here," Judge Merchan said. "It can be difficult to nail down a possible end date for any case, but if I had to make an educated guess, I'd say that this specific case will probably end on, oh, I don't know, November 6. That's just an arbitrary date that popped into my mind and anything else happening around that time is purely coincidental."

Trump has argued that the trial is nothing but a scheme to keep him from campaigning. "It's a complete sham!" Trump said to the media after the judge's prediction. "Yet another attempt by ‘Sleepy' Joe Biden and his corrupt Justice Department to keep me off the campaign trail where we have the biggest, most beautiful rallies. I am not guilty, I will win this case, and I will be elected — for the third time — in November."

At publishing time, Judge Merchan also announced that Trump would be confined to the courtroom and chained to his chair for the duration of the trial.

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