NEW YORK, NY — Viewers of MSNBC's coverage of the 2024 Iowa Republican Caucuses were shocked last night after on-air personality Joy Reid announced she had scalped a "Karen" and stolen her hair to wear as a trophy.
The controversial host, who sported a mop of platinum blonde hair on her head as she solemnly warned about the dangerous number of "White Christians" in the state of Iowa, revealed she had attacked a white woman and removed her scalp to keep as a memento.
"She won't be speaking to any managers anymore!" Reid shouted at the camera while the other members of the televised panel sat in horrified silence. "I know she was one of them white Christians who are hell-bent on taking over this democracy with Donald Trump! You think I'm going to sit here and let some white Jesus-worshipping devil spread her hate across this nation?! NOT TODAY, WHITE WITCH!"
As the show's production staff desperately attempted to cut to a commercial break, the unhinged Reid continued her tirade. "So I killed her!" she shouted. "Yes, I did! And I took her pretty blonde hair for myself! Now, I have absorbed the power of that Karen, just like I will the power of any other Karen I run across! I'm on my way to Iowa, ya'll! You think that winter storm was bad? Wait ‘til ya'll have to deal with me! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
At publishing time, Reid's speech was being widely hailed as a landmark moment of empowerment for women of color on television.
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