Gender Surgeon Gives Patient Appointment Reminder For Reversal Surgery In Five Years
Health · Jan 16, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

REDWOOD CITY, CA — Local gender surgeon Marcus Rankin made sure to schedule a follow-up appointment with a patient five years out from her sex-change surgery for the inevitable reversal procedure she'll want to have done.

"Yeah, it's pretty much a given that after the initial euphoria of getting your bits hacked to…well…bits, that patients decide they want their bits back," the surgical specialist told reporters. "I try to tell them there's not much we can do at that point, but they at least want us to give it the old college try and build something from the horror show we created down there."

Transgender advocates cite the enormous amount of evidence they created that says no one ever regrets having their sensitive stuff turned into a Frankensteinian nightmare and assert anyone wanting to reverse a sex-change surgery never really had their hearts in the game to start with.

"Yeah, there's no way anyone would ever regret getting surgery like that, and I can't believe a doctor would be so transphobic just to assume someone might want to come back in five years to reverse it," activist Jewel Johnson said. "We have so much data in the field of transgender medicine that shows no one ever regrets getting a sex change -- sorry, I mean a 'gender-affirming surgery.' Of course, the surgeries are 100 percent reversible but no one wants to get them reversed. Nope. Never."

At publishing time, Dr. Rankin went ahead and scheduled the 5-year-out surgery as it's pretty much a given at this point that the majority of his patients will realize TikTok lied to them and that they want their old lives back.

Babylon Bee subscriber Ransom Notes contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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