CHICAGO, IL — To help support its recent efforts to conduct grotesque gender experiments on young children, the American Medical Association has appointed famed Nazi doctor Josef Mengele as its new president.
"We can think of no one better to represent our prestigious organization than Dr. Mengele," said an AMA spokesman. "His incredible skill at performing gruesome amputations and mutilations on children has earned him a stellar reputation in the gender-affirming surgery community. Welcome to our community, Dr. Mengele!"
The AMA has reaffirmed its commitment to helping its members make millions by grooming, drugging, chemically castrating, and dismembering children. In addition, they are calling on the DOJ to investigate anyone who disagrees with what they're doing. "We will never stop protecting a doctor's fundamental right to get rich by acting out his sick kinks on children, er... I mean, provide gender-affirming healthcare," said the spokesperson.
Doctors are being warned that any opposition to Mengele's experiments on children will have their AMA membership revoked.
When reached for comment, AMA President Mengele said: "Hurra! Zerstückeln Sie die Kinder! Heil Hitler!"
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.