HOUSTON, TX—According to sources at Lakewood Church, Joel Osteen was confused as Kanye West mentioned a strange name several times during his address to the congregation: "Jesus."
Osteen tried to nod along as though he knew what he was talking about as West talked about repentance, sin, and the gospel. He was especially confused by the mention of Jesus Christ, as he'd never heard the name before. His congregation was similarly nonplussed, chuckling awkwardly as West mentioned the name of Jesus.
"This Jesus fellow sounds like an interesting character," Osteen remarked after the service. "Surely He led a victorious, blessed, and successful life during His time here on earth."
"Doesn't sound like one of those losers who get killed for what they believe," he added, chuckling. "Can't believe those people in China think they're Christians when they're getting persecuted all the time."
At publishing time, Osteen was seen googling "who is Jesus Christ," "what is sin," and "what is hell" on his office computer.