PHILADELPHIA, PA—In a recent appearance before reporters, Biden promised to emphasize personal space exploration as president.
Biden vowed to utilize the powers of the executive office "to explore strange new bodies, to seek out and then break through personal boundaries, and to bodily go where no man has gone before."
"As president, I will call upon NASA to help me explore your personal space," Biden said to cheers from journalists. "This will be an ongoing mission to the final frontier of common social standards and the etiquette of interacting with other humans in an appropriate way."
"While Trump talked a big personal space exploration game, he never put his hands where his mouth was," he continued. "Under my leadership, America will once again be at the forefront of personal space exploration."
He then called a girl on stage and put his hands on her shoulders for some reason.