WASHINGTON D.C.—According to reports, President Joe Biden has purchased the entire collection of Hunter Biden's artwork for $12.6 million. In a discussion with an anonymous source, he said he hopes this gives him the leverage he needs for an audience with the President.
"I really wanna meet the President—I hear he's a real swell guy," said President Biden as he packed a mural made of multicolored pasta in his trunk. "And I was able to get this whole collection for only four-hundred bitcoin! What a deal! Four hundred ain't a lot!"
Biden said he hopes the President will listen to his concerns about the country, like the increasing cost of things like urinary catheters and women being quarantined and unavailable for sniffing.
"It's a great idea this young man Hunter came up with—selling art in exchange for influence over the most powerful man in the world! Nothing wrong with it Jack! I just hope the President likes me."
Sources say the meeting is scheduled to take place in either Joe Biden's or the President's office, but the final location is yet to be confirmed.