WASHINGTON, D.C. — With holiday festivities gearing up in the nation's capital, sources in the White House confirmed that First Lady Jill Biden has chosen her Halloween costume, which will include a white lab coat and stethoscope to make her look like a real doctor.
"Jill Biden has always been a style icon, and this year's selection of a costume that makes her look like an actual doctor is just stunning," said Lomble Von Blegnio, Editor-in-Chief of VOGUE. "It almost looks totally convincing — like she's a real physician who heals people! Amazing!"
Sources say the First Lady plans to wear the costume to all parties, photo-ops, and important policy meetings over the next week while demanding everyone around her address her as "Doctor," which, they say, isn't that different from a typical week.
"Hey, wow! Look at that hot blonde physician dame!" said President Biden upon seeing the First Lady in costume. "I didn't know they made doctors that young! You come here often, little missy?" Biden then attempted to nibble her fingers before being led by aides back to bed.
At publishing time, sources also confirmed that President Biden will be dressing up as a President with an approval rating above 40%.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
