TORONTO — Tunnel-dwelling orthodox Jews from Brooklyn found themselves in unfamiliar territory after popping out of a hole in the ground next to a Mountie drinking maple syrup on a moose in front of a Tim Hortons.
The devout Jewish men had toiled underground for weeks to expand their network of secret subterranean tunnels before emerging into what seemed to them to be an alternate reality of hockey, ice fishing, and poutine.
"Ov-vey! Wha-what is this place?" asked Abraham Benowitz as he shielded his eyes from the bright sunlight. "We've dug too far. We are not in New York anymore, my brothers. Is that a man sitting on a moose?"
The men huddled together as they observed a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police sipping a cup of maple syrup while sitting astride an enormous moose. "Oh, hi there, eh?" the Mountie said with extreme politeness. "You fellas visiting from down south in the States?"
Onlookers reported seeing the group of Jews cautiously approach the front entrance of the nearby Tim Hortons restaurant to ask for help. "Kinda funny-lookin' guys, eh?" one witness asked. "With the hats and the curls of hair and whatnot."
As the men settled into a booth, their fear began to subside. "This is not a bad place to find by mistake," Benowitz said. "It could have been much worse. We could've ended up at Harvard!"
At publishing time, the Jewish men were experiencing overwhelmingly polite service as they enjoyed donuts and coffee while they discussed whether they needed to tunnel back home or just catch a ride on their top-secret invisible Jew jet.
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