ISRAEL—Newly unearthed manuscripts that appear to be written by the disciple Matthew describe one of Jesus’s lesser-known miracles.
Matthew’s journal describes the disciples seeing Jesus walking effortlessly across the tower of crates. When they saw this they became afraid and thought they were seeing a ghost.
Peter shouted, “Lord, if it is you, then I will join you on the milk crates!” Jesus said, “Come.” So Peter stepped out onto the crates and began to climb up them to where Jesus was. But when Peter saw how high up he was he became afraid, and his crate stacks began to teeter and wobble.
The writings go on to describe how Jesus rescued Peter by pulling him up and stabilizing the milk crates. “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” asked Jesus. He then led them back down the other side of stacked crates, fully completing the milk crate challenge.
Matthew describes how they all began a hootin’ and a hollerin’ like never before running to Jesus, and praising him incessantly. They cried out, “Surely this must be a miracle as neither of them broke their back in a horrific but hilarious fashion! This must be the Son of God!”
Unfortunately, Matthew’s writings soon end, but not before mentioning the time Jesus made a Pharisee poop his pants, and restored a man's outie to an innie.