WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a highly controversial journalistic exposé, Project Veritas founder James O'Keefe recently scored a highly coveted exclusive interview with Kamala Harris by going undercover as a bottle of wine. Videos captured during O'Keefe's conversation with the Vice-President showed Harris completely at ease during the interview, utterly failing to notice that O'Keefe was anything but a massive bottle of Pinot Noir.
"Gimme another glass, there's great significance to another glass," said Kamala, as O'Keefe grinned mischievously. "You're my best friend, giant bottle. Did we fall out of a coconut tree together? It's like, where's my yellish, my yellow schoolbus? I'm a woman in a blue suit. Haha!! Gimme another one!"
According to sources, O'Keefe initially suggested he pretend to be gay, though it was unclear how that would help him gain access to the Vice President. Staffers suggested the ingenious wine bottle disguise, which O'Keefe was initially resistant to wear. However, he relented after staffers told him the bottle of wine could be gay.
Though conservatives derided the Vice President's performance in the video, mainstream media praised Kamala's incredible rhetorical prowess despite imbibing 13 glasses of wine. "Boy, did that backfire on O'Keefe! Look at this goddess," said MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, watching as Kamala vomited into a kitchen sink. "Not since Abraham Lincoln has our country been blessed with such inspiration and genius!"
At publishing time, O'Keefe had also managed to snag an interview with Tim Walz by dressing up as a gigantic tampon.
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