Politics
Biden To Introduce New Medal Of Honor For Bravery In Journalism

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Joe Biden says he is introducing a new award: The Medal of Honor for Bravery in Journalism, a new Medal of Honor that is given to reporters who do really brave things like say that President Trump is bad.

The award will be presented to journalists who bravely endured the Trump years. Biden called these journalists "braver than D-Day soldiers, fighting off an even worse Hitler."

Jake Tapper and the rest of the CNN crew are already being shortlisted for the award for making it through the darkest times of America, even darker than the Civil War or the Great Depression: a time when the president was mean to them.

"Listen, Jack, we gotta award the journalists who did brave things like stood there and let the president say mean stuff," Biden said in a speech from The Office of the President-Elect, which looked suspiciously like a basement, Friday evening. "We give these reporters the highest honor for their acts of valor. Some even had epic comebacks against the president on Twitter. Such bravery. Such honor."

Reporters who ask any questions about Biden's son will not be considered for the award, and will instead have Biden shout at them and say, "Listen, bub!"


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