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Israelites Declare Prophetess Deborah To Be 'Shrill,' 'Unlikable'

EPHRAIM—The Prophetess Deborah is facing a swell of criticism from her fellow Israelites, several of whom have called her “shrill” and “unlikeable.”

The critics, who voiced concerns at a recent gathering under the palms of Bethel, say they’ve been skeptical since the moment she was first appointed. 

"There’s just something about her," said Jepreth son of Naptali, a 26-year-old herdsman who still shares a tent with his mother, Mirna. “I don’t know. She’s just kind of off-putting. I couldn’t imagine, like, getting a beer with her.”

Jepreth isn’t the only one with concerns. Other Israelites have taken issue with Deborah’s leadership abilities, citing specific concerns about her physical appearance, whether she was over-emotional, and whether or not her husband, Lappidoth, was really equipped to take care of all those kids.

Yoseah son of Geyern, said that, while he had no issue with Deborah’s skill as a leader, he just can’t bear the sound of her voice.

“It’s so shrill, you know? When she holds court under the Palm of Deborah--it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I recognize we’re a pre-monarchic state, and she’s literally ordained by God, but--seriously? It’s just annoying.” 

At the time of publication, Deborah was too busy trying to clean up General Barak's messes to comment.

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