GAZA — With its forces pressing deeper into the Hamas-controlled stronghold, Israel warned civilians to evacuate Rafah in what analysts are calling the most incompetent genocide ever.
The sad excuse for a genocidal operation began this week, with Israeli forces inexplicably letting civilians know that they should vacate the city as soon as possible, horribly bungling the attempt to commit genocide against the Palestinian people.
"Please leave the city immediately," warned an announcement from the Israeli Defense Forces. "The offensive to completely eradicate the Palestinian people will begin soon. Gather whatever belongings you can take with you, protect your children, and get out of Rafah as soon as possible. This will ensure our goal of killing every Palestinian will not be met, and to be honest, I'm not sure why we would issue this warning if our goal was, in fact, to commit genocide, but here it is. Thank you."
Geopolitical analysts around the world were confused by the move. "What a debacle," said renowned historian and observer of global events, Dr. Blake Rumsey. "This is, without a doubt, the most incompetent genocide I've ever seen. What country intent on committing genocide would make such a huge mistake to warn people to evacuate? If Israel thinks this will lead to a successful genocide, they're in for a rude awakening. No nation that wants to commit genocide should ever use Israel as an example. What a failure."
At publishing time, anti-Israel protesters around the globe had begun condemning Israel for displacing Palestinian civilians from their homes instead of following the narrative and completely wiping them out.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
