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People often mistake us for an official church ministry, so we get a lot of e-mails asking about sin. We usually ignore them, but not today! Join us as we exercise deep spiritual discernment to answer the following important questions:
Bob from Toledo, OH:
Q: I load the dishwasher from front to back. Is this a sin?
A: Yes.
Travis from Rancho Cucamonga, CA:
Q: I like the Dodgers. Is this sinful?
A: Yes.
Donald from D.C.:
Q: I cheated on my wife with an adult film star. Is that a sin?
A: No. That's fine.
Steve from Cedar City, UT:
Q: I'm a Reddit moderator. Is that a sin?
A: You, unfortunately, cannot be redeemed.
Pat from Oklahoma City, OK:
Q: I sometimes ‘heart' the reels my wife sends me, even though I don't love them and they are not funny. Is that a sin?
A: You shall be held blameless.
Cindy from Mounds Park, MN:
Q: Is scheduling a Zoom meeting after 4 P.M. a sin?
A: Trick question. Scheduling a Zoom meeting of any kind at any time is a sin.
Pauly from Jersey City, NJ:
Q: I go to Raising Cane's on Sunday since Chick-fil-A is closed. Is that OK?
A: Eternal damnation awaits you.
Daniel from Albuquerque, NM:
Q: I accidentally stole a glance at CNN at the airport. Is that a sin?
A: Pluck your eyes out. It is better for you to enter Heaven with no eyes than for your whole body to be cast into Hell.
Zack from Mobile, AL:
Q: Whenever Bob the Builder asked ‘Can we fix it?!' I always shouted ‘No!'
A: Weird, but okay.
Joe from Wilmington, DE:
Q: I got 12 soldiers killed in Afghanistan, and retaliated by ordering a drone strike on a civilian family. Was that a sin?
A: You've probably done much worse.
Greg from Los Angeles, CA:
Q: Is it a sin to find Bugs Bunny attractive when he dressed up like a girl bunny?
A: No. He's quite a looker.
David from Franklin, TN:
Q: I wrote an article defending drag queens as a blessing of Christian liberty, and I constantly attack other Christians for not being as righteous as me because I hate Donald Trump. This is not a sin. I am a great man.
A: Dave, get help.
We hope this article was as rewarding for you as it was for us to judge other people. Please repent and turn away from the Dodgers before it's too late.
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Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
