TEHRAN — The Islamic Republic of Iran addressed concerns over the recent acquisition of a brand new ballistic missile called the "Jew Smasher 3000" with a spokesman for the regime insisting that the missile is intended to be used for only peaceful purposes.
"We don't want people to get the wrong idea about our new intercontinental ballistic missile that is capable of reaching Tel Aviv and vaporizing all Jew dogs within a 50-mile radius," said Muhammad Muhammad al-Muhammad to reporters. "This is just a tool for peaceful scientific and humanitarian research. We do not intend any harm toward America or the Jews, who will all die like dogs, inshallah."
When asked for clarification on exactly what research would be conducted, spokesman Muhammad explained, "Many missiles are used for war. Like the Jewish missiles. This one will be used for peace, and definitely not for slaughtering every evil Jew until none are left standing, inshallah."
"I hope that helps clarify. Thanks."
Sources said that the powerful weapon may have been gifted to Iran by China or Russia, and is similar to most other ballistic missiles capable of carrying a nuclear payload, except that someone painted "JEW SMASHER 3000" on the side of it.
At publishing time, the Iranian spokesman had further assured the public that saying "all infidels shall perish in holy nuclear fire until only the servants of Allah are left standing" was just an innocent traditional Iranian greeting.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
