WASHINGTON, D.C. — The presidential race was hit with an "October Surprise" today, as media reports circulated that an investigation revealed that former President Donald Trump's iconic role in the classic film Home Alone 2: Lost in New York was staged.
The allegations already sent shockwaves across the political landscape, with Democratic leaders saying the scandal was yet another indication that Trump is unfit for office for shamelessly staging what is now believed to be an entirely fabricated interaction with a lost young boy in a hotel lobby.
"You think he really provided Kevin directions to the hotel lobby? Think again!" said Harris-Walz campaign spokesperson Blaine Daniels. "It was totally fake! I have it on good authority that the entire thing was staged. In fact, the people in the hotel that day were paid actors! Can you believe it? And get this — from what I've heard, even the things spoken by Trump and the kid were written beforehand and given to them to say. What a disgusting and deceptive charade."
Reports from various media outlets confirmed that all indications were that the scene was faked. "It gets even worse the deeper you dig into it," said one investigative journalist. "We've been told that the young boy who ‘asked' Trump for ‘directions' isn't even really named Kevin McCallister in the first place. It's rumored that they repeated the scene several times in front of the camera to ‘get it right.' It's such a blatant attempt to fool the American people."
At publishing time, members of the media had also warned the public that an image circulating online of Trump leading the Continental Army across the Delaware River at night in 1776 might, in fact, be A.I.-generated.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
