WASHINGTON, D.C. — Previously unseen footage, shown for the first time on Tucker Carlson Tonight, sparked controversy for its purported portrayal of the Deadly Jan 6 Attack on the U.S. Capitol Insurrection™ as a "mostly peaceful" protest, but the intelligence community has gone on the record to claim all security footage from the event is nothing but Russian disinformation.
"It is the consensus of the intelligence community that security footage from the Capitol building is part of an elaborate Russian disinformation scheme," said White House Press Secretary Jean-Pierre. "Even Coast Guard Intelligence thinks it's hogwash."
"Let that sink in."
Fox News reporter Peter Doocy was quick to point out that the House Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol™ had access to the same footage. "Does that mean they were also duped by Russian disinformation?"
"Only the footage showing peaceful protestors is Russian," answered Jean-Pierre. "Duh!"
Doocy tried to ask a follow-up question but was promptly shut down.
"I shouldn't have to explain this," Jean-Pierre argued. "The last time the intelligence community agreed on anything was when they said there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So obviously, we take their claims very seriously."
At publishing time, the FBI was investigating how Russians gained access to the U.S. Capitol Building to install security cameras in the first place.
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