Christian Living
In Unexpected Plot Twist, Far Left Now The Ones Burning Harry Potter Books

WORLD—For a long time, it seemed as though Christians only liked two things: Jesus and burning books. From books of magic in the early church (because of the witchcraft) to Harry Potter (also the witchcraft), if it had words, we Christians were suspicious of it.

But after JK Rowling made the shockingly anti-science statement that biological sex is a real thing, it seems now the secular left are the ones burning Harry Potter books. All around the world, teary-eyed former Harry Potter fans gathered their collection of books, costumes, Legos, and other merchandise and piled them up.

"We condemn thee, JK Rowling, for the great crime of suggesting biological sex is real!" one woman in Portland cried. "Shame! Shame! Shame!"

"Well, we didn't see this plot twist coming," said one reporter as progressives in London stacked up a bunch of Harry Potter books to be consumed by a great, holy blaze. "If I had to bet a decade ago who would be burning Harry Potter books, it certainly wouldn't have been the left."

Unfortunately, many on the left could not figure out how to get a fire going. There are books on the subject, but they've only ever read Harry Potter.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.