HOLLYWOOD, CA—Nicolas Cage has signed on to play the role of classic Christian crimefighter Bibleman in a big-budget film release exploring Satan's hand in the planting of dinosaur fossils, leading into a haze of confusion about the true six-thousand-year age of the Earth.
In the film, Bibleman is granted the power of time-travel when he finds an ancient time crystal inside of his King James Bible. The stone allows him to travel back to the beginning of time, six thousand years ago. Bibleman will face off with Satan (played by Willem Dafoe), who will be in the process of creating an army of massive demonic lizards whom he plans to break down into fossils using demonic energy.
Ken Ham of the Creation Museum will be an executive consultant so that the film is as scientifically accurate as possible. "We want this to be a blockbuster action film," said executive producer Ralph Winter, "but we also want it to be educational---you know, something you can use in your homeschool classes."
Nicolas Cage says Bibleman is a character he has been eyeballing since he took on the role of Ghostrider in 2007. "I drew a lot of inspiration from my pet cobras on how they move," said Cage. "Very calculated, cold." Cage also says he has been reading his Bible more to get into character. "I read the Bible in a pit of cobras."
Bibleman: 4,000 BC is slated for an early 2020 release in KJV3D.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.