WILMINGTON, DE—In preparation for her first campaign strategy meeting with Biden, VP pick Kamala Harris has shaved her head to remove any potential distractions to Joe Biden. This will make her America's first bald female candidate to run for Vice President.
"This election is important, the most important in my lifetime, and the fourth most important in Joe's lifetime," said Harris to the gathered Press outside a prison hair salon where the shaved-head look was completed. "We must remove any potentially unhelpful distractions like my long hair."
Harris will also be slathering foul-smelling garbage juice on her scalp just to keep her head safe from Biden's famously wandering nose. Sources close to Harris confirmed she feels it's a small price to pay for a shot at the presidency.
Political consultants are calling the new look "bold," "brave," and "very shiny." With this new look, Kamala Harris will also employ an innovative new debate strategy and reflect bright stage lights into Mike Pence's eyes to temporarily blind him while he tries to rebut.
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